Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
