so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
