can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
