Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
