we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
