I swear she didn't look like that last week.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
