My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
