I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
