Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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