That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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