idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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