it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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