He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
