My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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