Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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