The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
