I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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