Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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