Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
worst night to have a conscience
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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