I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
