Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
