Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
