Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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