Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
