Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
