Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I touched a dick in church today
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
