We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
