Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
