I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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