Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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