so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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