left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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