i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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