just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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