i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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