She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
