Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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