what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize