Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
