I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
How does one acquire holy water?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
