I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
