I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
