Will you blow on my dice?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My cat gives me a boner
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
