he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
