You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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