He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
