the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
