Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
