the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
People with herpes should wear stickers.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
