I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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