She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
