I saw his package. It spoke to me.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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