Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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