Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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