Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Are my feet made of real feet?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
