No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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