I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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