My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
