i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
