to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
