Where are you?
In a non slutty way
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize