Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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