Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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