doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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