I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
