I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
As shirtless as possible
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
