hell yes lets make some ravioli
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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