I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
