It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
