i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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