I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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