we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
