just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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