just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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