Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Jerry, you need to find god
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
