I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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