you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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