i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
