that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
