how can u be prego again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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