It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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