I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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